


Gross Family

by justanotherjen



Series: A Series of Comfortable Events (Retirement Fluff) [4]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Family Fluff, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Gen, POV Junior, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 08:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14911722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotherjen/pseuds/justanotherjen
Summary: Junior visits Tucker on the moon--from Junior’s POV. He really doesn't get humans other than his dad, and they're all gross. (Sticking this in my Retirement Fluff series somewhere.)





	Gross Family

 

The creatures are ugly. Gross. The stuff of nightmares. What with their lack of exoskeleton and saggy skin. But Dad says I have to be nice to them. They’re family or something. Gross family.

“Blargh, blergh, blar-blargh, honk,” says the one with the tuft of red on its head. Like I’m supposed to know what that means.

The one with the fuzzy yellow head joins the first’s complaining. I think. Dad looks annoyed so I’m guessing that’s it.

“Blerg! Honk-blargh!”

What is that supposed to mean? That one creeps me out. He talks to himself a lot—random honks and blarghs as he wanders the hall of the base. Weirdo.

I wish that stupid bomb guy was here. He was a dick, but at least, I would know what’s going on.

Don’t tell Dad I said, “dick.” I don’t have any more quarters to put in the swear jar.

Eventually, the yellow-topped one throws up its arms and stomps off. The red one shakes its head. “Blargh, blergh. Blargh-blar?”

Dad yells something at them and makes a rude gesture. “Screw them,” he tells me.

“But I thought they were family?”

“They are, but sometimes family is just a bunch of assholes that live with you.”

“Uh-”

“Dammit.” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and fishes out a couple dollars to put in the swear jar. “I suck at this.”

I laugh which makes him smile.

“Come on, Junior, we don’t need them to have fun anyway. Let’s go scare the guys at Red base.”

“Ooh, can I stand over Simmons again until he wakes up? That was funny when he started crying.”

Dad rubs my head. “Whatever you want, kid.”


End file.
